Blame Yourself to Success
Updated: Oct 5, 2019
Don’t get me wrong. Blaming yourself for not being successful is not the same as criticizing your own hair or fat thighs. Sometimes taking a good look at yourself, pointing a finger at the mirror, and admitting that you are the one responsible for everything in your life is a way forward.
It isn’t an easy step to take. We’ve all been down the road of excuses, especially when we were young and angry. I made plenty of poor excuses for myself when I was young:
“I don’t have the right last name” – Blame it on my Dad, then blame it on my Mom.
“I don’t have the right look” – Maybe I was too good looking for this job. Maybe this is why they don’t take me seriously. Blame it on Mom and Dad again.
“I’m too intimidating” – They just don’t like the way I walk, talk, speak, and cut in while people are talking to show them my ‘opinion’. Blame it on my Mom, that’s how she raised me.
“I’m too skinny” – 50 kg.
“Too fat” – 51 kg – blame it on my husband for not stopping me eating too much.
“Too westernized” – Being straightforward, frank, and sometimes just plain rude. Mom and Dad’s fault again.
And so it goes on and on.
The truth is I wasn’t good enough. And that’s why I wasn’t well-known.
You will be surprised how many times I was told, to my face by potential clients, that they couldn’t use me for uniforms or allow me to interview them because ‘I was nobody’. I took it personally (I still do sometimes – I think you probably should take it personally) but it wasn’t their fault. It was my own fault that I didn’t work hard enough to be well-known. If ‘being known’ sells, then go make yourself known. Make your product known.
Another cold hard truth I learned was that nobody cares if you are fat, thin, short, tall, westernized, or have some traumatic life history. Nobody cares about you at all. All they need to know and want from you is whether or not you can bring value to their work, and whether you are easy to work with.
If you haven’t made it yet in life, then blame it on yourself first, because then you are the one in charge. You have every power to make a change. If you blame it on the rest of the world, over which you have no control whatsoever, you will always be the victim. That’s never a pretty look, and you’ll never make progress.
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